The social convention you privately think we should just quietly abolish

[Linda52]

Not a rant thread, a genuine reform proposal. Name one social convention, a norm, a ritual, an expected behaviour that everyone quietly participates in despite most people privately finding it pointless or actively unpleasant, and make the case for why it should just quietly disappear

The best entries usually reveal a convention that survives purely on inertia, nobody actively defends it if you ask them directly, everyone just keeps doing it because stopping first feels awkward, which is precisely the kind of social fiction that could collapse the moment enough people simply agreed to let it

The fun follow up is imagining the actual mechanics of abolition, who goes first, what replaces the gap it leaves, because most conventions exist to solve a real coordination problem even when the specific solution has become outdated, so a good proposal usually needs a replacement not just a removal

So name your convention for the chopping block, the case against it, and if you can, what should quietly take its place, because half the fun of a thread like this is discovering how many people have been privately hoping someone else would say it first

[Ann]

The obligatory how are you, fine, thanks, exchange with zero actual information transferred, propose replacing it with literally nothing, a nod covers the same social function without the empty script

[BrokenDave72]

The empty script point is exactly right, we perform the ritual because stopping first feels rude, but if everyone silently agreed to just nod instead the coordination problem it solves would still be solved with less waste

[Gateway Mia]

Round of drinks buying at the pub where everyone secretly does the maths on who owes whom and nobody says it aloud, replace with everyone just paying for their own, the group maths anxiety serves nobody

[TechPriest]

Sending thank you cards for gifts that were already thanked for in person, propose the in person thanks simply counts as sufficient, the redundant paper trail exists purely to prove the thanks was sincere which is a strange thing to need proof of

[PaleCipher]

The wedding gift registry industrial complex, obligatory attendance costs, ranked gift expectations, propose replacing the whole apparatus with genuinely optional low pressure contribution and watch how much resentment quietly disappears

[Kane]

Nobody actually likes registries and everyone participates anyway because opting out first feels like the rude move, that is precisely the inertia this whole thread is describing

[GlobalBob37]

The unspoken rule that you must finish everything on your plate as a guest even when full, propose it dies immediately, hosts secretly want honesty about fullness more than performed gratitude through discomfort

[Holly78]

Corporate email sign offs with three different levels of formality depending on who you are emailing, replace with just a name, the whole hierarchy of best regards versus kind regards versus warm regards serves nobody's actual communication

[Finley_27]

The obligatory small talk before getting to the actual point of any phone call or meeting, propose we just say the actual thing first, the warm up exists to soften bad news mostly and most calls are not bad news