Corrupt a Wish: the game where your dreams come true, horribly

[MJF86]

Classic forum game, works like this. The person above you makes a wish, you grant it but twist it so it goes horribly, hilariously wrong, and then you make a wish of your own for the next person to ruin

Example round. Someone wishes for infinite money, you grant it but it is all in expired vouchers for a shop that closed in 2011, then you wish for something and brace yourself

House rules, keep it clean enough for the front page, no ruining a wish with just it does not work because that is lazy corruption and we are artisans here, and try to reply to the most recent wish so the chain does not fork

I will start. I wish I never had to charge my phone again

[Velvet Connor]

Granted, your phone now runs on your own body heat, but only holds charge if you maintain a light jog. I wish for perfect weather every weekend

[Tiger]

Granted, the weather is perfect every weekend, for someone in a different hemisphere, your Saturdays are now legally theirs. I wish I could remember everything I read

[Jacob_69]

Granted, you remember everything you read, including every terms and conditions document, which now plays in your head at bedtime in full. I wish my football team won the league

[GhostRider14]

Granted, they win the league in a video game simulation that goes viral, real team relegated. I wish for a lifetime supply of my favourite snack

[Inland Aidan]

Granted, the supply arrives in one delivery, today, filling your home to the ceiling, clear a path or eat your way out. I wish I was fluent in every language

[AJStyles92]

Granted, fluent in all of them simultaneously, you now speak in a blend nobody understands including yourself. I wish for one extra hour every day

[SuperPosition]

Granted, the hour is added at 3am and you are awake for it, every night, just you and the fox screaming outside. I wish my house cleaned itself

[NeverQuitRoss81]

Granted, the house cleans itself by ejecting everything you own onto the lawn each morning, immaculate floors though. I wish I could pause time

[Wizard35]

Granted, you can pause time but you age during every pause, choose your queue jumps wisely. I wish for the perfect cup of tea

[Jordan_68]

Granted, the perfect cup of tea exists and you had it once, every future cup is now measurably worse and you know it. I wish this game would never end

[Shane88]

Granted, the thread is now immortal, moderators have tried to lock it, it cannot be locked, we live here now. I wish someone else would take the next wish