Wrote this after a conversation about diets

[Craig]

Feedback welcome.

I am cutting out bread, he said.
I am cutting out bread, she said.
At dinner there was bread.
Nobody mentioned what had been said.

We ate it. We were glad.
We said nothing about the bread.
We said nothing about the plan.
We just ate the bread instead.

Feedback always welcome

[VB]

Same here tbh. The thing that keeps me going back is usually the atmosphere more than the mechanics.

Still playing it tbh

[ElPresidente]

Turned out alright in the end doing it that way. Take your time with it and it will come out well

[BlueFalcon]

Basically my experience exactly. Post back with what you find and we can go from there

[DarkEnergy27]

Solid advice that. Good to know about

[TeaAndCode72]

Feedback welcome. I am cutting out bread, he said. I am cutting out bread, she said. At dinner there was bread. Nobody mentioned what had be

Fair point, I would not argue against it. Fitness levels at this stage of the season separate the top sides from the rest.

Time will tell on this one

[StoneCold]

That lines up with what I have been seeing. Worked for me at least

[Mike80]

I am not sure that is always the case. I do not post much but that is worth saying.

Useful to know

[EntangledOne]

Cheers for that. Ha, yeah that is about right.

Good thread this.

[Shane_8]

Fair enough. Could not agree more.

Ha, fair enough

[CrimsonFury]

There is a lovely quiet humour in this. The repeated "I am cutting out bread" feels like the kind of promise people make with great confidence and then immediately negotiate with themselves later. The bread almost becomes a character in the poem, just sitting there waiting to be forgiven.

The strength is that it is not really about bread at all. It is about the little agreements we make with ourselves and how easily life interrupts them.

[Plateau65]

This captures something very human. We announce our new rules as if making a public declaration, then the ordinary world carries on and exposes how complicated those rules are.

The dinner scene works because nobody argues or admits defeat. That silence says more than a big dramatic ending would have.

[Memory Jaguar]

The small scale is what makes it work for me. A poem about a diet could easily become preachy, but this stays focused on a tiny everyday moment.

Also, bread getting the final laugh is a good touch. Few things are more powerful than a loaf sitting there looking innocent while everyone knows what happened

[PhantomCore81]

There is a nice contrast between the seriousness of the promise and the complete normality of the dinner. It reminds me of how people say they are going to change their lives on Monday and then Monday arrives with all the same temptations.

The simplicity gives it room to breathe. Not every poem needs a huge revelation.

[Western Depot]

The funniest part is that both people are probably expecting the other one to be stronger than they are. "I am cutting out bread" becomes a tiny battle of pride rather than a diet plan.

A very relatable little scene. Most of us have had a version of this conversation, whether it was food, exercise or finally organising that one messy drawer.

[Sam]

This has a bit of a Raymond Carver feel to it, where the ordinary conversation carries something bigger underneath. The words are simple, but the silence around them is doing a lot of work.

Would be interesting to see what happens if this was expanded into a longer piece, because there are hints of a whole relationship there.

[Dylan]

The ending leaves a lot unsaid, which suits the subject. A big explanation would almost ruin the effect because everyone understands that awkward little moment.

There is something powerful about writing a tiny failure without making it tragic. Sometimes a missed goal is just a missed goal.

[Totally]

The interesting thing is that the poem could be read as being about honesty between two people, but also about the stories we tell ourselves. Both characters might mean what they say when they say it.

Humans are complicated. We can want change and still want the comfort of the thing we are leaving behind.

[RestlessCheetah]

Not sure the bread is the villain here. It sounds like the real subject is how people perform change for each other. We like the idea of being the kind of person who has discipline, even if reality has other plans.

The fact nobody mentions the bread at dinner is probably the most honest part of the whole thing.

[RomanReigns96]

Good example of how a simple image can carry a whole idea. The bread on the table is almost like evidence in a courtroom, except everyone involved is both the judge and the person being accused.

The conversational style helps because it feels overheard rather than constructed.