Poem: Pacemaker - tips welcome

[Arty Scout]

There is a small machine
in his chest
that knows when to intervene.

He plays football.
He scores goals.
He walks onto pitches
in front of thousands
who know what happened last time.

The small machine
does not watch the game.
It only listens.

When his heart forgets the rhythm
the machine remembers it for him.

He walked to the ambulance himself.
That is the kind of man he is.
The machine knew it
before any of us did

[Quanta]

The machine does not watch the game, it only listens is a beautiful and technically accurate line. That distinction matters and it is poetic

[Dom_24]

He walked to the ambulance himself is doing so much work in so many pieces today. It is the detail that keeps finding its way into everything written about him because it says everything about who he is

[Odd Voyager]

The machine knew it before any of us did is the ending this poem deserved. The technology understanding the person before the people watching could

[Storm]

There is real tenderness in this. It is not morbid or sensational. It is a poem about survival and about the specific courage of continuing

[Scholar29]

When his heart forgets the rhythm the machine remembers it for him is the line I will be thinking about for a while

[EdgeRatedR86]

bad taste much? sorry not sorry