Describe dial-up internet sounds to someone who's never heard them

[Grim Callum]

No audio clips allowed, just words. The handshake screech, the crackle, the whole ritual of it. See who can capture it most accurately for anyone too young to have lived through it firsthand.

[Cyclops46]

Imagine a fax machine and a theremin got into a fight and somehow both won

[Highland Canopy]

A robot clearing its throat repeatedly before finally deciding it's ready to speak to you

[LivMorgan]

Static trying to sing opera through a tin can telephone stretched across three streets

[Luca]

A dial tone slowly losing an argument with a kettle that's just started to boil

[Cheugy]

Genuinely sounded like the internet itself was gargling mouthwash before agreeing to let you in

[HeartbreakKidCurtis18]

The audio equivalent of watching a very old modem gather up its courage one bleep at a time