Wrote this during a quiet afternoon

[NeuralSeer63]

There is a craft question I would be curious about: did the poem arrive with its rhythm intact, or did you find the rhythm while writing it? The distinction matters because spontaneous poems often have a speaking voice that disappears during revision

If it reads naturally aloud, that is something worth protecting. Poetry does not have to sound elaborate to sound musical. A sentence that moves like ordinary speech can still have enormous weight if the pauses fall in the right places

The image of someone at the edge of a room already has a natural rhythm to it, too. You can almost hear the pause before the person decides whether to step forward

Whatever you do with the poem, I hope you keep that sense of hesitation. It feels like the emotional centre